Never Easy
by LilyBella
Summary: The truth is never easy.


**Title**: _Never Easy_

**Author:** LilyBella

**Genre: **Drama/Romance

**Rating:** PG-13/T for language

**Disclaimer**: I do not know or own Chris Jericho, Trish Stratus, Adam "Edge" Copeland or any other real life wrestling personality who may appear in this work of fiction. I do, however, own my original character and the overall story. Although this story takes place outside of kayfabe, some changes have been made to the real life situations of the superstars and divas featured in this story.

**Story Length:** 1,142 words

**Summary**: The truth is never easy.

**Author's Note:** This story was developed from a real person slash story I wrote in the summer of 2006 featuring Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, and Ewan's wife, Eve Mavrakis. I never finished it, but I always wanted to. Since the Star Wars fandom is pretty much dead and the Ewan/Hayden faction of it even deader, I thought I'd rework it as a wrestling ficlet. I'm not totally happy with it, but I'm never happy with anything I write. Reviews would be appreciated, constructive criticism is more than welcome, and all flames shall be ignored. I hope you enjoy.

* * *

It would be easy to say that your relationship with Trish was practically over. The two of you were having problems. She was bitter about having to give up her career so the two of you could finally start a family while yours continued on and you got to travel the world, proving night after night that you were one of the greatest the wrestling business had ever seen. It would be easy to say that you were both unhappy and that you were staying together for your little girl. You didn't love her anymore and you were pretty sure she didn't love you either. Adam had been a friend. Someone to lean on. After all, he knew all about shit relationships. He understood. What happened between you two had been unexpected, but it wasn't unwelcome. You wanted to feel loved. You wanted to feel wanted. You needed a respite from the bitter coldness that you're relationship with Trish had become.

So, technically, you cheated on Trish. But could it really be considered cheating when the relationship was dead anyway? And who's to say Trish wasn't cheating too? She and Jeff had always been a little too friendly for your tastes and everyone knew that Jeff had been in love with her since they worked that angle together in '03. And even if she wasn't cheating, she was certainly over you so your relationship with Adam wasn't hurting anyone. Not even Sienna, your beautiful two-year-old daughter, who you still called every night before her bedtime and visited every chance you got.

The truth, however, is never easy and this is the truth: you did love Trish, you still do love Trish, and you probably always will love Trish. You were happy with her, happy because of her, .day since you first started dating. Hell, since even before. You completely adore that woman and your daughterand one of the main reasons you've worked so hard is because you want to give them the best life possible. Adam was never supposed to happen.

* * *

It would be easy to say that Chris's infidelity hurt less because he cheated on you with a man. You were happy to know he didn't find another woman; a woman he thought was better than you. Maybe someone younger, someone prettier, someone he wanted to play mother to your little girl. This was something you couldn't compete with. A man could give Chris things you obviously never could.

And with Chris gone, you finally realized what a wonderful man Jeff really is. He'd always been there for you in the past and after Chris told you he was leaving, he went above and beyond the call of duty to make sure you were ok. You fell in love and Sienna adores him. Nowadays, it's not unusual at all to see you and Jeff and Chris and Adam all spending time together with Miss Si, a perfectly happy little family unit.

The truth, however, is never easy and this is the truth: it hurts more because it's a man. There are more questions and fewer answers. Had he always known he was gay? ('No, of course not. This just happened.' — You don't believe him.) How could he not know? ('I don't know. It never happened before' — Liar!) Why did he marry you, give you a taste of this perfect life and then take it away? ('I never meant to hurt you' — It's a bit too fucking late!) Had he ever really loved you? ('Yes, of course I did. I still do' — You wish you could believe him.)

These days you can barely stand to look at Chris without bursting into tears. That happy little mixed family unit that you sometimes see, like Demi, Ashton, and Bruce, that'll never happen with you, Chris, and Adam. Adam is not allowed anywhere near your daughter and it's not about homophobia. If Chris had cheated on you with a woman, you wouldn't have wanted her anywhere near Si either. You are determined that Sienna only knows one father, one mother, one family and that's you, her, and Chris. You aren't dating anyone, although you know Jeff will be there when you're ready, but when you do, whether it's Jeff or not, you don't intend for anything to change. Maybe it's you being petty. Maybe not. Right now you're too hurt and confused to accept the possibility of anything else.

But God, you want to know why this happened. How did this happen? How could Chris leave you? You gave up everything, your career, your _passion_, to have a family, a life, with him. How could he take that away from you and carry on with someone you had considered a friend? Someone you let into your life, into your home; someone who played with your daughter all while taking her father away from their family. It makes you sick to think of what Adam had done to her, to you. He ruined everything! You hate Adam. You hate Chris. But more than you hate anyone, you want to scream and rage and just know _why_!

* * *

It would be easy to say that you really were just a complete fucking bastard who was hell bent on destroying perfectly happy couples because your own life was so God damn miserable. You never loved Amy and you don't love Chris. Hell, you're so cold and dead inside you don't even know what love really is. You get off on hurting people, especially your 'friends'. First Matt, now Trish, and even though you aren't finished toying around with Chris yet, you're already thinking about who you're going to screw over after him. That's just the kind of person you are. Soulless and evil to the very core.

The truth, however, is never easy, and this is the truth: you've never set out to intentionally hurt anyone in your life. You suck at relationships and you have a nasty habit of falling for people at the worst possible time, but you never meant to cause anyone pain. Of course, that doesn't change that fact that you have. You've hurt Matt, and you've hurt Amy, and you've completely devastated Trish.

Chris was Trish's husband, the love of her life, the father of her child. You broke up their marriage; their family. What you've done is unforgivable and sometimes you hate yourself for being so weak; for giving into your feelings for Chris instead of bottling them up for the sake of his wife and his daughter and Chris himself. Truthfully, you never really expected him to return your feelings and you never thought of the possible consequences on the off chance that he did.

You never wanted to hurt Trish. You never wanted to hurt anyone at all. But life is never easy and falling in love can be the hardest part of all.


End file.
